Saturday, February 14, 2009

Little Jhonny

Helps Suzy

A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to
Japan if I can, and I think I can." The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby...if I can, and I think I can." The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can....and I think can!!!!

Manners

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

Whois married?
A teacher asks her class "if there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and u shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Johny and he replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot "The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4 but I like the way you'r thinking, "Then Johny says "I have a question for you. There are three woman sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicatley licking the sides of the ice cream scoop Another gobbled down the top and sucked the cone and the third bit of the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher blushing a great deal replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johny replyed. "The correct answer is the one with a wedding ring on, but I like the way you'r thinking!"

Period

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."